"Belgium's Finest", the phrase alone brings great images to mind. Belgium, is great at so many things. Belgium is great at easily being invaded by the Germans, they are also great at putting mayo on their fries ("frites" as they call them) and great at developing horrible bands like Front 242. Just as bad, if not worse than being invaded by Germany, is the Belgian band Agathocles. In case you don't know, Agathocles is a band who are best known for putting out more records than the number of hair plugs in Kirk Hammett's head. And that's a whole lot.
This is what the band Agathocles looks like. If you need to have any leaking faucets or electrical work done around your house, now you know who to call.
Putting that aside, Belgium is also home to one of the greatest cyclists of all time, Eddy Merckx. Here we see Merckx posing with US Secretary of State Condaleezza Rice. According to most Belgians, Eddy Merckx is so great that his urine can cure lepers, and his farts smell of fine cinnamon and mint. By comparison, Agathocles records make you feel worst than if you were a leper and also smell like farts.
Notice her happy smile, that's because she just caught a whiff of one of his potent, but pleasant farts.
But there's more to Belgium than cycling and putting mayo on fries. I know this, because I was there in the 90s. I remember the abandoned rollerskating rink that the band I was in played (thanks to the thirty six people who showed up by the way.) But these are all merely sidenotes. Why? Because the most important and relevant product that the entire country has, however, must be the band Hell Injection. See for yourself.
Fat shut-in guitar player? Check. Biohazard wanna-be singer? Check. Creepy tag along/roadie who just sits there during band practice and "feels the vibes"? Check.
What does this awful Photoshop collage signify? Is it in honor to all his dead homies? Is he sad because Agathocles is putting out another split 7" record? We'll never know.
There's always the one dude in the band who's girlfriend always tags along. Just like Yoko, she's gonna' break up the band. By the way, she hates her boyfriend so much (the singer) that he refers to having sex with him as him giving her a "Hell Injection".
You're not Joey Ramone? Oh, okay...that's good. Can I beat your face with your stupid bass then?
Remember when the internets existed, but it was hard to find anything about metal? It's hard to believe that there was in fact a time when metal nerds didn't have places like this one to argue about whether Danzig II or II is the better album, if Brutal Truth's first album is grindcore or death metal, and call Dave Mustaine an asshole.
We had to make due with anus.com, and that's a pretty poor substitute for, well, anything. As a result, a lot of good records slipped through the cracks a bit: not big enough to get much print coverage (other than Pit magazine, which fucking ruled), and without Youtube, MySpace and blogs they had few other options. I would like to do what little I can to fix this sorry state of affairs: here are some records from the late 90s that may have eluded you, but are worth checking out. For all you a-holes that think I'm a poser and I don't actually like metal, put this in your fucking beardo pipes and smoke it.
As I always mention, this isn't an MP3 blog and we like being friends with labels, so I (usually) won't include download links. That said, Google blog search is helpful if you are looking for them.
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Cinerary "Rituals of Desecration" Let's begin with a band I've been hyping for about 7 or 8 years: the mighty CINERARY. This criminally-underrated band featured Matti Way and the drummer from Disgorge with two guys who I think were in Gorgasm and/or Cumchrist (also worth checking out). Back in 2001, guttural slam didn't exist, but this record laid the foundation for it and I am honestly surprised it doesn't get hyped more nowdays. The vocals are just completely fucking disgusting (rivaled only by Devourment, Big Chocolate, and Cephalotripsy), the drummer blasts his balls off, and the guitar sound is one of the thickest I've ever heard, making the proto-slamz especially sick pitt riffment. I have no idea what happened to this band or why they didn't blow the fuck up because this record is SICK but long out of print- grab it off Rapidshit here.
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Embalmer "There Was Blood Everywhere" 7" Cleveland is a miserable fucking shithole, which helps explain why there were so many rad death metal bands coming out of that dump in the 90s. I lived there for a few soul-crushing years, and it made me a bitter, angry person who wants nothing more than to choke the life out of everybody on the planet. But on the bright side, I lived a block from the Phantasy and was spoiled with an abundance of metal. Usually "local band" is synonymous with "shit," but in those days a "local metal show" might include Hemdale, Odious Sanction, Apartment 213, Regurgitation, Nunslaughter, Dislimb, Integrity, and of course Embalmer.
Embalmer played a particularly downtuned, sick, yet darkly melodic brand of death metal that still sounds pretty fresh to my tired old ears (when I'm not jamming Metro Station, of course). The drummer played blast beats that were VERY, VERY fast for the time, and although they had chops the band never got into riff salad territory. New bands could learn a thing or two from the 90s Clevo bands: it's not about trying to outplay the next Guitar Center dork, it's about writing good songs that "make ppl want 2 mosh."
BTW, I don't think of this as an obscure 7" by any means, but I am also fucking old and forget that not everybody read The Wild Rag cover to cover obsessively like I did and therefore it might be new to some readers.
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Decrepit "The Wake" 7" Skullkrusher and Andrew from Aversionline tell me that this band sucks and is even worse than Gammacide, but I think they're crazy because this 7" is sick. Like Embalmer, they had a knack for writing simple, catchy, yet very polished death metal songs that didn't feel like old school throwbacks but also weren't trying to break the conventions of the genre. In other words, they just played really fucking good, straightforward death metal. The drummer, Chris Dora, also played in Integrity for a quite a while beginning with "Humanity Is The Devil" and going up until long after I stopped paying attention to hardcore.
Peep this song and tell me you don't seriously think Gammacide is better than this band! The part at :45 has one of the longest blast beats I've ever heard, it's pretty sweet. I think they're still active, although they started playing black metal a while ago.
Deeds of Flesh "Trading Pieces" & "Gradually Melted" In 1997 I ran into the drummer for Odious Sanction at a Hemdale show. After offering me weed (very gracious, although I was nailed to the X at the time so I passed) he gave me a dubbed cassette labeled "DEEDS" and told me it was the hot new shit. He was right, these records are masterpieces of technical, brutal death metal with some of the best drum sounds I've ever heard. Along with Internal Bleeding "Voracious Contempt," this record basically made me stop listening to hardcore for about 10 years and just sit in my room playing my Jackson Dinky Reverse trying to write sick riffs that could be in Deeds songs. Their later records are amazingly dull riff salad, but these two are classics that still hold up in the 2k9.75 for sure.
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Nunslaughter/Bloodsick split 7" Chris Pellow is a mellow fellow who doesn't get the credit he deserves for his many musical accomplishments. He is probably best known for being the original bassist in Ringworm and Apartment 213, but has been in far too many other hardcore and metal bands for me to remember and is a really really nice dude as well. In 1997 he played in the legendary Nunslaughter and a cool band called Bloodsick, who teamed up on this obscure split. The 7" is impossible to find and has been out of print for over a decade, so cop that shit on Mediafire.
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Oppressor "Agony" I got into this band through the drummer and bassist for Abnegation, oddly enough. They basically sound like the death metal version of Forced Entry: weird, angular riffs that are more more twisted than they sound at first blush coupled with poppy arrangements that make it very accessible for brutal death metal. Like many of the other bands in this post, I really don't understand why this album doesn't get hyped more often these days. I guess it's just a case of wrong place, wrong time?? Your lose, dickfaces, because this record is a classic and your life is incomplete unless you own it! (And yes, I do own the actual CD :P )
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Broken Hope "Loathing" & "Grotesque Blessings" There's no doubt about it: Broken Hope's early albums fucking suck. However, they are one of the rare bands who actually got better with age- way, way better (which isn't hard considering how fucking awful "Swamped In Gore" was). I had pretty much written them off as complete crap until my friend Lee, who is a very legit shredder and death metal fan, told me that "Wolf Among Sheep" had one of the sickest riffs of all time in it. I didn't believe him, of course, because I knew them for their abyssmal earlier releases, but it turns out he was right as fuck! I wouldn't say the entire album is great, but just like Disincarnate, the whole is more than the sum of the parts. If you're into technical shit that's not totally gay, give this a shot.
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Disgorge "Cranial Impalement" I bought this for $.10 at Record Exchange with Mike Joachum, who has played guitar for many of the later Integrity lineups along with his little brother Nate. Please don't bother shit talking new Integrity because those dudes fucking rule it. Anyway, Mike was like "Dude look at this cover, it's hilarious!" I agreed, noticed it was 10 cents, and picked it up. We brought it home and he was super bummed he didn't buy it because the first song is one of the finest pieces of guttural death metal I've ever heard to this day: the vocals are sick as fuck, very catchy but complex and brutal riffing, and extremely tasty drumming (check out the accents on the bell of his ride). Their later albums are ok, but much closer to riff salad than this one. So if you wrote them off based on newer output, do yourself a favor and cop "Cranial Impalement"!
What did I miss? What late 90s death metal did you jam before MySpace existed? Do you know Mike and Nate from Integs?
Dressing up as a black metal douche for halloween? I know what you're thinking "Nicolas Cage's son has now been doing it year-round for some time now!" Well, you're partially right...but that doesn't negate the appeal that such a costume may have for the masses. As such, I now introduce you all to the first official black metal costume ever (I think), as seen at a local costume shop by close friend of the blog (sup Marns!).
In honor of halloween, please check out these two clips from Metal Inquisition's favorite zombie movie ever...death metal zombies. See them here, and here.
UPDATE: So apparently this was all an elaborate internet hoax and Chuck is alive and well. I hope they find whoever is responsible and have him/her hung, drawn, and quartered. Now go enjoy some Boo Berry and remember--don't believe everything you read on the internet!
Metal brothers and sisters, we've lost one of our own. The devil himself, in the form of throat cancer, has taken one of our most beautiful angels. Chuck Biscuits, one of the sickest drummers, doodlers, and cereal collectors to ever live has died.
The word "legend" gets tossed around far too often these days, but Chuck is more than deserving of the title. Chuck first burst onto the scene with Vancouver hardcore legends D.O.A. before doing a short stint with Black Flag and recording the legendary 1982 Demos. He went on to join the Circle Jerks and in 1987 joined the band for which he is best known--Danzig. He recorded four of the greatestalbumsevermade with the classic Danzig lineup of Glen Danzig, John Christ, and Eerie Von. He is also featured in the two Danzig home videos, each of which I've watched approximately 100 times. He wasn't the fanciest or the flashiest drummer, but he was rock solid. He was tight, fast, and hit hard as fuck. His playing is instantly recognizable and he's influenced an entire generation of drummers, but there will never be another like him. Rest in peace, Chuck. You are gone, but you will live on forever in our hearts.
Back when I played in a band (early to mid 90s) finding members to join in your musical escapades was difficult. More often than not, my brother and I simply reached out to people we already knew, and asked them to join our amazing musical projects. This is the relationship equivalent of dating your friends. We never opted for the equivalent of a personals ad (which would be a listing in a local paper, or the dreaded flyer at the guitar shop). Today, pretty much everything has changed by virtue of the darned interweb. Through Facebook, Craigslist, eHarmony and J-Date...people all over the world are gettin' it on with amazing efficiency. Since I always dream of starting a sweet band, I've chosen to use the interweb as my shopping tool, in order to find the ideal members for my new side project. What do you think?
Okay, so he flubs a few notes, and has one of the chords wrong on the main riff...but check out his commitment to the tune. I mean, the guy has an Ipod on a strap strictly for the purposes of practicing. I think he'd be a great addition.
This guy is a winner all the way. Rumor has it, he can crabwalk even better than Robert Trujillo, and he can do so in 7" heels. Beat that!
This girl is proof that the level of musicianship amongst today's youngsters has risen so far it's not even funny. When I was in a grindcore band, anyone who could play a simple blast beat for about ten seconds, or do pinch harmonics was a god. Jesus, times have changed.
Being gay AND Filipino must be super hard...just ask Kirk Hammett, he's already lost most of his hair due to the stress of living that way.
If you're a regular reader of this blog then you've probably realized by now that we're not exactly huge fans of contemporary music. With the exception of Sergeant D most of us here at Metal Inquisition stopped caring about new music right around the time Danzig released Blackacidevil. The fact of the matter is that, for the most part, new music--in particular new metal--sucks. I've tried to keep up with some of my favorite older bands and check out new ones, but nine times out of ten it leads to nothing but disappointment. It's for this simple reason that you're most likely to catch Lucho and I fighting over the ipod in his BMW with him wanting to listen to Steely Dan and me wanting to listen to Skrewdriver. From time to time, however, to my complete and total amazement a new band will come along and blow my mind to pieces. The most recent example of this that I can think of is the Australian black/death metal hybrid mindfuck that is Portal. They released their first album back in 2003 and have since then released two more albums, each better than the last, which leads me to their most recent album and masterpiece, Swarth, which was just released earlier this week by Profound Lore.
Maybe my expectations are just incredibly low now because of how shitty most new metal albums are, but of the handful of new albums I've heard this year Swarth is far and away the best. I haven't been this excited about a new album since Decrepit Birth's Diminishing Between Worlds, and I think Swarth might even end up surpassing that album's awesomeness. I'm not a poet, but I'll do my best to describe the music on Swarth--it's bleak, dense, twisted, and fucking heavy. It's one of the most unique and legitimately unsettling records I've heard in a long, long time. You can barely even make out what's going on musically; it's a whirlwind of sound threatening to collapse at any moment, but Portal somehow manages to hold it together long enough to create this ferocious and suffocating wall of sound that relentlessly marches on for a solid forty minutes. Words fail me at a time like this so if you've been as bored with recent metal releases as I've been then I highly suggest checking out Swarth and Portal's two previous albums.
Oh, and in case you've never seen what Portal looks like here's a couple of photos to pique your interest.
If you are a decent human being, you say stuff like "Look, I have a great sense of humor, but some things just aren't funny. For example, I really didn't appreciate it when Guttermouth made fun of Siberian-American Huskies. How insensitive!! Another thing that's simply off-limits is cancer. This terrible disease kills over 500,000 Americans every year, and I can't think of anything worse than trivializing the impact it has on our way of life- not just as Americans, but as human beings! How dare you mock me for calling off of work on Tuesday to get an anal cancer exam!!"
Fortunately for you, I am only a marginally decent human being, so I present to you a video in which Peter Criss reveals that he had BREAST CANCER lolololololol!!! It's almost as funny as Seth Putman's sidesplitting overdose/suicide fail a few years back!
Anyway, enjoy- and here's hoping Gene Simmons gets struck by lighting!
Mike Browning is a good poser test: Anybody who knows their shit will quickly tell you about Mike's role in shaping early Florida death metal. A founding member of Morbid Angel, he made his biggest contribution with Nocturnus. We make a lot of Nocturnus jokes, but trust me that we are all huge Nocturnus fans. I first heard them in 1991 or so on the legendary Earche comp "Grindcrusher" when their track "BC/AD" completely blew me away. I stuck with them and became a huge fan by the time I was out of high school. Lucho, Krusher, Awakening, me, and the other kids in our circle of weirdos who grew up listening to Youth of Today and Terrorizer literally talked about Nocurnus for fucking hours when we hung out. In particular I remember around 97 or 98, me and this one dude Vince (where are you broseph??) geeking out on "The Key"and making "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" noises at each other like the the keyboards on "Lake of Fire."
In contrast to many of his contemporaries (for instance the other dudes from Morbid Angel), who are complete fucking wingnuts, Mike seems like a cool, down-to-earth guy that doesn't take himself too seriously. That's a welcome change of pace, since there are way too many people who were in far less important bands who have their head completely up their own ass.
Washed up a-hole: "Do you know who I am?!?! I played bass in ROTTREVORE, you insolent fuck! Now kiss my pinkie and I'll forgive you." Guy he is talking to: "Uh.... welcome to Olive Garden. How many people in your party?"
You don't hear his name nearly as much as you should these days, so we are super stoked to have Mike on Metal Inquisition!
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"BC/AD": Before Christ - I ruled the land! After death - I will rule once again!!
You made quite a mark on the death metal landscape in the 90s, but many of us lost track of you after that. What are you up to these days, both musically and otherwise? What do you do for a living? Right now my band After Death is mixing a bunch of new songs we just recorded. There are 5 new songs and we rerecorded one off of our last Retronomicon CD and just for the fuck of it we recorded 2 old Morbid Angel songs Chapel of Ghouls(with The Invocation) and Angel of Disease from the Abominations of Desolation album, close to how they were done back in 1986, but still with some new elements as well. The last time we recorded was back in 2006, so we are way past due for some new material to be released! We also did a tour last October of Europe as After Death playing Nocturnus songs from The Key, which went over pretty well, so we may do that again sometime soon. Other than that I just work a regular day job for the water department in Tampa and work on my newest project a 1957 Chevy Bel Air that has become a fucking money pit, but it does haul ass!
Nocturnus was pretty out there for the early 90s. How did people react when you first came out? How does that differ from how people would react now, in a world where we've heard enough blast beats and sweep picking to sink a battleship? The reactions were pretty good actually. I think because of The Science of Horror demo being heavier and less technical than The Key was, helped us to kind of break into a new style of death metal without going to far over the people's heads. But yeah today we might just have been the band of the week for the fucking sheeple that say they are death metal fans! Peoples attention spans these days are about as long as their dicks! And their attitudes are bigger!!!
OK, so maybe Mike is a little weird. But it could be a zillion times weirder/more embarrassing- just ask Evil D.
Are you familiar with the popular death metal band Nile? They have a lot of songs about having sex with mummies, pet sphinxes, and other weird Egyptian stuff. You had a mummy on the cover of your 7" many years before Nile came out, how do you feel about them stealing your gimmick? Well we did use some Egyptian themes way before Nile, but actually I didn't play on that 7" you mentioned, that was after I left the band. My band After Death does a lot more Egyptian themed music now, but we don't sound anything like Nile. Our style of lyrics is also more about the magick and rituals that the Ancient Egyptians used. And we have a full time keyboard player, so we can make the whole song have more atmosphere instead of just an intro.
Classic, hilarious Nocturnus segment from "Hard N Heavy Grindcore" video. I love the part where the keyboardist talks about "thrashing where he's at" (1:20) and at 2:15 where they give advice to young bands who are thinking about moving to Florida to be closer to the epicenter of the scene.
Aside from mummies, Nocturnus' lyrics referenced all kinds of crazy shit like crystal balls, spaceships, droids, and so forth. Where did you come up with that stuff? Specifically, can you tell me what "Enter The Droids" is about? In the beginning Nocturnus was mostly occult oriented lyrics, but when Mike Davis joined the band and started writing and had some lyrical ideas it turned more into sci-fi type stuff, so I mixed his ideas with mine and it came out to be some pretty crazy shit that I ended up writing about. The Key was pretty much a concept album about a guy going back in time and destroying Jesus Christ and taking over the world with future technology that he brought back with him.
"It was in one of the crashed alien ships that he found 'The Key' that was the finishing piece to make his time machine work"
It didn't really start as a concept album though, but as we kept writing songs they started to fit together like a puzzle and kind of ended up as a story, but each song could still stand on it's own. Enter The Droids was the part of the story where alien droid ships started attacking the Earth and the main character retreated to a cave where he built the time machine and it was in one of the crashed alien ships that he found "The Key" that was the finishing piece to make his time machine work.
Lord Browning sits atop his throne while he prepares a fiendish scheme to rape himself once he has his time machine back (it's been kind of sputtering lately when idling, probably just the O2 sensor)
Here on Metal Inquisition, we like to joke about "the Nocturnus time machine." For example, we have a whole section dedicated to "things I would destroy if I had access to the Nocturnus time machine." We also came up with a concept for scale models of the time machine. What would you do if you actually had access to the time machine you wrote about on "The Key"? I think I would go back in time to when I was a child and rape myself. Man do you want me to make a fucking list or what!!! Hell there are tons of things I would go back and change if I had a time machine, especially some of the chicks I have met and had relationships with, that would probably be first on my list!!! I think some sweet revenge would be nice too for people that have wronged me, that's always nice to think about as well!!!
But why rape yourself when you can go back a bit farther and rape your mom and actually create yourself by raping your mom, now that's a fucking idea there!!! Maybe that will be my next concept album, so don't go stealing my idea like everyone else does!
If you were 20 years old today and starting a band, what would it sound like? What would your personal brand be? I think I would have to say it might sound like After Death does now, pretty much I have always wanted to do atmospheric sounding occult metal! But if I was 20 again I don't know if I would have the discipline for it the way the world is today, but I would probably still make the same stupid mistakes anyway because I haven't changed much since then.
All goes well until :45 or so, then oh boy... the wheels fall right off the wagon. Then at 1:35 he starts talking about his Quake clan and you just want to hide out of vicarious embarrassment.
You know the guys in Morbid Angel well, right? Please watch this video of Trey Azagthoth hosting "Headbanger's Ball" and tell us what you think is going through his head. Other than, "I feel like the biggest fucking asshole on the planet." What's funny is I knew Trey was going to be on Headbanger's Ball, so I actually saw that episode when it first aired and from knowing him all these years it was pretty much exactly what I expected to happen!!! I doubt he will ever try that one again!!!
Back in the day, it was mindblowing for someone to be able to play a blast beat, double bass, or tremolo riff at all. In retrospect, most of the musicianship was pretty amateurish by today's standards. As someone who was in one of the most technical, innovative bands of the 90s, how does it make you feel that these days every 16 year-old asshole kid can play sick blasts, sweep picked arpeggios, and 250 bpm double bass when people like you struggled so hard at pioneering these techniques? It is all pretty relative because back then people thought that what we were doing was mind blowing and now I see these kids playing twice as fast and not even breaking a sweat. I think because the kids these days are brought up on this stuff and didn't have to progress into it or create it, that they come from a different mindset. Only problem is not a one of them have any originality, they all want and do sound like someone else and even worse is they want to be that way! There is no more originality anymore, so maybe it all has been done!
Can you imagine how amazing it would be to live next to this, then find out it belonged to Mike Browning?! My mind would explode, like if I saw Glen Benton buying Little League outfits for his kids.
When I listen to Nocturnus, I always have a visual in my head to go along with the song. For example, "Empire of The Sands" reminds me of the Jawas in "Star Wars." Did you have any visuals in mind when you were writing them? If so, share the one that you think would be most surprising to us. The whole goal of Nocturnus was to create an atmosphere with the music and lyrics together and this has always been what I would consider success over making money, not that making money is bad, but to me this is the greatest compliment someone can say about my music. When I write the lyrics, usually the whole idea pops into my head with a title that sums it up and I have a visual of the whole song like a movie playing out inside my head so at that point the lyrics start flowing sometimes so fast I can hardly write them down before I forget them. I usually have to find a paper and pen right away and end up writing the whole song in less than 10 minutes!
"I see this guy kicking the stable door down wearing some kind of a futuristic space suit and just blasting away Joseph, Mary and the 3 wise men and then saving the baby Jesus in his little manger for last"
I would say as far as Nocturnus it would probably be Destroying The Manger, where I see this guy kicking the stable door down wearing some kind of a futuristic space suit and just blasting away Joseph, Mary and the 3 wise men and then saving the baby Jesus in his little manger for last as he starts laughing hysterically maybe with a cigar in his mouth like a true superhero would and just blasts the whole manger to smithereens!!! It would make a great movie don't ya think!!!
This song is the origin of the "Nocturnus time machine" meme:
ENTER THE DROIDS / Cybernetic cralts approaching / Through skies lit with fusion discharge / Androids from the gamma quadrant / Moving at the speed of death / Now the human race is so vulnerable / Invasion set for attack / "Enter the Droids" / Command-Mission-Destroy-Planet-Three-From-Their sun / Caught within my tractor beam / Bringing the craft to me / Disable the robot for my own use / to aid my escape / Fleets of ships are now arriving,overtaking / Physical evasion is my only demise / Left to me for my survival / Gaining data from their system,overriding / To complete my invention,the time machine / Only question is"will it function"?
Pretend you get to write the metal history books. What would you like people to remember about you and your work? Well I have never claimed to be some kind of an amazing musician, so more than anything I would want to be remembered as the one and only Mike Browning!
Cameron Argon, better known as Big Chocolate, is the brains behind Disfiguring The Goddess, as well as a whole bunch of other projects that he will explain below. Aside from being quit arguable the best guttural death metal vocalist on the face of the planet, he honestly seems like a really good, sweet dude in a way that you just don't see very often in metal (unless it's, you know... on Solid State). Definitely check him out on Myspace and Youtube, whether you need him to fill on for DJ AM in your Crazy Town cover or produce the next hella mass tight wigger slam joint for you and your crew. No homo, but I really, really appreciate coming across someone who can make the most brutal, crushing guttural slamz on Earth yet hasn't had their spirits crushing by life along the way After all, I'm betting 0/2 on those counts!
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In his debut video, Big C brings CRUSHING SLAMZ- but more importantly also really, really good songwriting, which I think is lost on many viewers
For any of our readers who are unfortunate enough not to be familiar with you and your work, please introduce yourself in whatever way you would like. Since I'm almost twice your age, does this interview feel like you are being cornered by your "cool uncle" at a family gathering? Don't worry, I won't tell you about how "I'm into that shit too" and start talking to you about how I listened to White Zombie in high school as proof. Of course mate. Well, my name is Cameron Argon and I just turned 19. Big Chocolate is the name I use for my music. It’s kinda a joke name... no real meaning behind it, but I do love good chocolate.
Not at all, I’m pretty real with all ages... and I currently live with one of my Uncles so... uncle figures are like.... My key strong point.... (Sarcasm)
Aside from your various music projects, what are you doing with yourself these days? You graduated from high school in 2008, right? What do you see yourself doing for a career? 2009. I’m a freshmen in comminity colledge because I was too focused on making music in high school and not enough on learning my chemistry vocab to pull a GPA high enough to get into out of state school. Haha! I’m studying criminal justice because It’s a real hands on field, and that’s where i’m more interested. I’m doing it basically as a fall back plan if I can’t support myself though music later in life. I think being on a S.W.A.T. team would be pretty dream like for me also, always been a big fan of guns.
Cam and his prom date. I hate him so, so much.
It seems like being an 18 year-old kid who's way into death metal is working out pretty well for you! When I was an 18 year-old kid who was way into death metal, it mostly meant that I spent Saturday nights sitting at my parents' house by myself playing Super Metroid and listening to Napalm Death. On the other hand, you not only went to prom, but took a super cute girl; you've been to Russia to play with Abominable Putridity, and have many fans on the internets- for example this little hottie who left you a "marry me" comment. What the fuck is up with that?! I hate you.
Haha! it’s not like I was any different. Couple buddies and a good ol scary horror video game was pretty typical during high school. I never really got into high school drama or partying so it was either kicking back with some friends or making music in my room. My senior year I got some decks and starting Djing parties, that was a TON of fun because I was able to go to parties and not feel like I was wasting my time because I was making music and entertaining. I never really liked High School events too much, but I was pretty friendly and a constant “go-getter”. I won homecoming king, but didn’t go to the dance afterwards. I was pretty impressed with myself about my date because I didn’t know how I pulled that off. Haha!
Bro, if you aren't gonna hit that, send her my way. I will show her what's up.
Russia, was the most intense time of my life. The whole trip was so surreal to me, I couldn’t believe I was in russia to play music. Dream come true. My Mom almost died from worrying too much, but still, best thing to ever happen to me. Hahaha!!!! DoN’t H8 ThE pLayA H8 tHe GaMe!!
Hard to argue with this!
I feel like I have no idea what Kids These Days are into, and if *I* don't, then I am 10000% certain that none of the other old people who read our blog do either. What are some of your favorite bands, either those who influence you as a musician or otherwise? Were you ever into punk or hardcore? Just out of curiosity, tell me three bands that best embody "punk" to you. Some of my favorite bands and musicians are The Police, Moby, Hate Eternal, Radiohead, Bjork, Devourment, and a few others. I draw a lot of influence from these bands and plenty others as well as the motivation fans, friends, and family give me. And you can’t mention motivation with out mentioning Leroy Smith, The Motivator or Michael Jordan. I listened to punk for a while, I mostly listened to the crust/grind/powerviolence side of it though, a lot of resistant culture, witch hunt, phobia, dystopia, phobia.
I listen to more of the thrash/hardcore compared to the beatdown xhardcorex. Bands that best embody “punk” to me are defiantly not rancid, sex pistols, and nofx. Punks one of those things where it should be kept underground, and if it isn’t, it’s not punk. BUT OH WELL. I don’t really care to much about all that jazz or being “punk as fuck”.
DJ AM ain't got shit on his steez
Most of us know you for your various metal projects, but you are something of a slam wigger Renaissance man: you also make beats, wreck shit on the wheels of steel, and record bands. How did you end up getting into hip hop, and how does that fit into the Big Chocolate "things that I spend my time on" mix? What do people in the metal scene think of your b-boy alter ego? Beats are pretty fun, I don’t make them as much as I used to, but it’s a way to connect with other musicians and expand boundaries. I’ve worked with far more hip hop artist than I have with death metal bands. I really like a few underground acts, but i’m not like the guru on underground hip hop.... Yadda ming? Underground is usually better than the mainstream because it’s almost always 100% for the music. When artist get signed, they start changing their sound for the labels. Of course that’s not always the case though. Prime example of a label puppet, Lil wayne. I won’t name any Death Metal puppets because i’m not that kinda guy. I don’t really care what other people think, I do it for fun and for me.
YOURE FUCKING MOSHING!! or posing.
You have heard the term "wigger slam" before as a way of describing bands like Infernal Revulsion, Soils of Fate, Disconformity, and of course Abominable Putridity. What are your thoughts on this term? What is the most wiggerish thing about the guys in Abominable Putridity? Do they prefer to be called "riggers"? I think it’s a pretty funny term. I usually use the term “Bro” instead though, haha! A “bro” is more classifiable by attitude over look though for me. In Russia, they call bro’s “Beadlow” Of course it’s not spelt like that, but that’s how it sounds. So every scene has it’s hand full of “bros” The guys in AP were not really stereotypical at all. Pretty normal dudes, didn’t really dress to fit any kind of look. Andrew had some pretty cool tattoos but that’s kinda it. I’m a huge Disconformity fan, straight forward brutal slams.
I remember a time when I had vitality and vigor like this young man. Each year since then I've gotten a little more bitter, a touch angrier, and my heart has grown just a bit colder. For him to meet someone like me must be like when I looked into the eyes of a concentration camp survivor in 8th grade and saw his shattered soul. Or in Cameron's case, he can tell I saw Incantation 400 times in the late 90s, which is roughly the same as surviving Auschwitz.
I showed some of your videos to this indie girl I know, and she pointed out that you smile and laugh a lot in them. You seem to be having a lot of fun with this, which is awesome because it should be fun. Why are metal fans so fucking serious all the time? Will you your youthful enthusiasm for life be snuffed out like mine was by years of crushing disappointments, heartbreak, and humiliation, or will your comfortable upper middle class upbringing keep you safe from that? I do music for one reason: It’s fun. I have no idea why metal fans are always so serous. Haha, no I don’t think i’ll ever loose it. I try to keep a good straight head and a good attitude about life. I’m pretty stoic in my view points but keeping a good friendly mindset.
Ahhhh... There's nothing like Disfiguring the Goddess to remind you what mornings are all about. Made with only organic, free range guttural slamz, DTG brings the whole family together. It's not just a band, it's memories that will never leave!
On that note, please read our post about "regretcore" and share your thoughts. What do you think your life will be like when you're 31? As someone who seems like a stable, solid dude, what advice do you have for people like me and my friends who clearly have limited life skills? When you read the lyrics to a song like "One With The Underdogs" by Terror, what goes through your head? Haha, I think a better term for Regretcore is growing up. When i’m 31... I’ll hopefully be doing something I love doing and passionate about. I’d be cool to have wife that I trust and love and a few little camerons running around... But that’s what everyone kinda shoots for. I don’t know, I’d rather play out my life and live in today rather in tomorrow or yesterday. Perfect life motto: Do what you love, love what you do. Well the lyrics are pretty straight forward. He didn’t have the best upbringing. but he realizes it and beat it.
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Cam's sister falls prey to a cruel trick!
I think it's pretty awesome that you seem to get along well with your family. One of your videos that I like best is the one where you scare your sister, then your mom comes and yells at you. It's legitimately, non-ironically cute! In the comments, some dickbag said "Who are those dousches that come in and yell at you," and you replied "those "dousches" are my parents.. asshole... " I don't mean to get too personal, but how do your parents feel about all your musical projects given that they seem pretty normal and you do shit that is extreme even by the standards of underground metal? Many people say that one of the defining characteristics of your generation is that you are "friends with your parents" in a way that is definitely not true of Gen X- do you think that's accurate? Family first, than friends, than... relationship problems. My family means a lot to me and we are pretty dang close. Oh man, funny story about that video. It was on thanksgiving and everyone was getting ready. It takes me like 4 minutes to get ready after i’ve showered, I put on a shirt and a button down. So I was bored and trying to trick my mom with the maze game and film her with built in camera on my computer. Buuuut my determined sister wanted to give it her best. (she’s the kinda girl who takes on any challenge, and gets unreal scores on pocket games like solitaire). Me scaring her pretty much ruined our thanksgiving because of the awkward tensions between me and my sister, little did anyone know... I filmed it and uploaded it to youtube and families across the world were watching her get scared.
Family members on Facebook =always funnt
She came home to her myspace covered in comments with people telling her that her video was so funny.... Ohhhh man. Sooo funny. They show a great deal of support, they like my “Efficient” project much more than my Death Metal though. haha! ehhh, yes and no... I have friends who are best friends with their parents and friends who completely hate their parents.
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WTF is this business? Haha! Some fellers that have some huge problem with me. The videos and myspace of those guys are pretty funny, like they really go a longgggg ways to show how much they disagree with everything I can ever do. I could understand being called out by like... a big time guy in the business, but he would just be an asshole then... calling out people making who are just making music... These guys just kinda creep me out from time to time with their obsessive negative reaction to me. I’d put my skills against theirs any day.
At first I thought this was a good-natured joke, but the more I watched, the more I thought "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is REALLY WEIRD"
I write a lot about scene kids, which makes our readers angry and confused because unlike me, they are threatened by new things. I think one of the things that's hardest for them to digest is that scene culture is such a disparate mishmash of references from other subcultures, but done in a way that's completely effortless and authentic. For example, BrokeNCYDE draw from crunk rap, screamo, trance, and deathcore, to which old people reply "Wait, wait- you can't do THAT!!" Or how scene kids wear Hollister like it's their job- that seems insane to people who grew up in a time where wearing a mainstream brand like that would be considered treason if you listened to metal or hardcore. You're another example in that you play some of the most ass-raping slam metal on the planet, yet wear non-ironic Wu Tang shirts, spin drum-n-bass, and went to prom with a hot girl. What does this all mean? Is everybody in your generation a walking mashup or what? Why are old people like me so confused and upset by this? HAHAHAHAHA!! so happy you brought up BrokeNCYDE. My buddy and I made a joke/mocking project called The Mercury Drug where we use auto tune, talk about sluts, use hardstyle breakdowns and continue with silly outfits. I just do whatever I want. I don’t really like fallowing fads or clicks. I just do what I want to do, I play what I want to play, I dress how I want to dress. I’m pretty “whatevs” on the whole subject.
The latest music video from The Acacia Strain
Finally, we would like your help deciding which of these bands is the biggest bunch of wiggers. Please watch the following videos and give us your thoughts on eacg in a couple sentences, then choose one "winner."
Winds of Plague "The Impaler" Life ain’t nothing but bitches an money.....uh... Wait.... Never mind, Lets go cleanse azeroth of orcs with an double sided two handed axe (+ 22 to Agility; +4 Deffense; 2% chance to cast Thunder Bolt) (...?)
Thanks for your time! Please add/plug/say anything else you would like to add! Oh, one last question: Why don't you wear a puffy vest like Johnny Plague?? Sorry if I have bad grammer, I didn’t reread what I’ve written... Thanks for the intie and thanks for the support mate!
Check out Sergeant D's other blog, Stuff You Will Hate, for all things crunk, scene, emo, pop, and metalcore. You'll hate it!
If you want us to write for your dumb magazine, review your terrible record, or wear your retarded clothing, you can ask us. But seriously, it's almost guaranteed that we won't like whatever it is you do.
This is what the band Agathocles looks like. If you need to have any leaking faucets or electrical work done around your house, now you know who to call.
Notice her happy smile, that's because she just caught a whiff of one of his potent, but pleasant farts.
Fat shut-in guitar player? Check. Biohazard wanna-be singer? Check. Creepy tag along/roadie who just sits there during band practice and "feels the vibes"? Check.
What does this awful Photoshop collage signify? Is it in honor to all his dead homies? Is he sad because Agathocles is putting out another split 7" record? We'll never know.
There's always the one dude in the band who's girlfriend always tags along. Just like Yoko, she's gonna' break up the band. By the way, she hates her boyfriend so much (the singer) that he refers to having sex with him as him giving her a "Hell Injection".
You're not Joey Ramone? Oh, okay...that's good. Can I beat your face with your stupid bass then?
